My school has a less than a week long (well, one calendar week, but it'l only open tuesday-friday, because art galleries are lazy motherfuckers).
We hung the show on monday, and I had a sesh with some buddies after we were done; we needed to celebrate.
So Tuesday was opening night. We got there at 6 and the show opened at 7. I have 15 pictures in the show, I think 5 film photos and 10 digital images. It went really well. I'm thinking of putting together a little thingamajig to show what my display roughly looked like. It was pretty cool getting my own wallspace to use as I see fit. We had about 250 people come from 7-10 that day, we had plenty of food and drinks, which surprisingly all ran out just before we closed.
Seshes worthy of mention were also had with several buddies.
My favourite teacher was there and he also enjoys photography. Overall I got some pretty good feedback from the show.
And a lot of people I know were there, and some really cool friends of mine showed up. Good times were had, I saw some that I hadn't seen in a long time and they all seemed to like it.

PS I should also scan some of my film prints, huh?

Mexico until the 8th. I expect to see many messages which will make me smile upon return, but since only 3 people are reading this, you don't have to stress out too much.

Will try to make full use of the Rebel there.

Here is a cautionary tale. It happened to a friend of a friend of mine (me) and deals with doing something nice.

I am a pretty good student, my average is usually in the mid to high 80s, at midterm it was 84, last semester it was 88. I hate math and the part of physics that uses a shitload of math, namely kinematics and mechanics. I can't think that way and find the light and sound units much less obscure and do much better in them. On physics tests I've been getting high 80s and lately 90s as well. Last 2 tests I got 40/42. Pretty good by my standards. That is until the most recent test. I had missed 3 consecutive days of school for that unit, the days when the most important concepts were taught. Namely the 5 formulas we'd have to remember and their use. I missed all that and when it came to test time, I had a little "insurance" up my sleeve. I thought I was gonna get around 70% or so and I would have gladly taken that. However, when we got it back, I actually got 21/44. My first failed test. Ever. A huge deal for an 85+ student. I just broke down and sat there in disbelief.
Needless to say I was bummed out, and my two close friends noticed that. Our dumbass school has 3 lunches and 2 of those are a class (so there are less people in the cafeteria and hallways and such bullshit). My lunch is right in between two halves of english class with an ogre who has been called conceited, arrogant, crazy, bitchy, and evil by other people. I wholeheartedly agree.
When we went for lunch, I went to the art room, to visit my 2 close friends and they said "hey, let's go help her take pictures" with 20-25 minutes left of class. They actually took me to Wendy's to get a Frosty. I was stressing out that I'd be late for the nazi's class, so I didn't enjoy it as much as I did after. I was so flattered and I just love them both so much because they did that. It was one of the nicest things anyone's ever done to me. We get back 2 minutes late even though my friend drives back as quickly as possible and my ogre nazi teacher gives me detention.
Shows what happens when you try to do something nice for someone. If I ever needed proof that there isn't a god (and I don't, because I already hold that belief), this is it. This is not justice. It's warped fucked up and that's the world we live in.

For a long time, I just haven't enjoyed life. Theres a shitload of reasons:
I'm home every weekend, the only activities that take me out of the house are grocery shopping with my parents.
I don't have any close friends, just school acquaintances. I haven't done anything social with anyone in a long long time, I feel abandoned. Like I'm in standby right now.
I've never been to a club or drunk in my life. I'm probably in the 1% of highschool seniors that haven't truly lived. I haven't experienced all that these years have to offer. I do look down on living in excess, but I think that everything should be experienced once first hand. I've missed out on so many things that most people have done at least a dozen times.
I don't have anything to talk about with anyone. At school and on MSN, I just can't think of anything to talk about with anyone. My mind is just blank, there's nothing I can discuss or talk that I can think of. I was recently told that I was too self centered and talked about myself too much. I never realized I did and I still don't think I did, but I guess that's had the biggest impact on my silence. There are less than 5 people that I can even make smalltalk with without having silences.
I'm doing terrible in art. I have not produced one piece of acceptable quality this whole semester. I'm only taking the course because it is required for taking photography next year. I am very displeased with all my sketchbook assignments and the two paintings and one scratch art. They just suck and are horribly unperfect. It's school art show time now and they might get in or not. It doesn't mean too much if they get in, because there isn't exactly an endless supply of good art at our school. They put my sculpture in gr9 for Marge Simpson in the show. That's how desperate they are. We are drawing facial fetures. So far we have done proportions of the head, eyes and noses, and mine are just shit. I can't convert skin tones into B/W pencil shading. I can't fucking do it so I'll probably fail. I also missed one day of the head proportions so my notes (which he will thoroughly check and mark) are incomplete.
I failed at music. After almost a year of guitar lessons and my grade1 exam, I realized that I was no good. I discovered tabs and lost the ability to sight read. I barely passed the exam and a friend of mine in the same class was very very good at it. She continues to take lessons and kicks ass now while I quit a while ago and try to retain my memories of the 2 or 3 riffs I know. I've been trying to practice for a few weeks at a time, but seeing no improvement, I just gave up.
My photography is below average. I don't get a sense that anyone really likes it. I like my own photography, but when it's been submitted for so long and it just stagnates and the only comments are "i like it", they mean nothing. I have perhaps one of the most exentensive gallery of un-intelligent one liner comments. Meanwhile shitty animations get DTF's on this site and for so long, it just seems like I've been mediocre.
I noticed how much noise my camera makes in every picture, even some as slow as 1/90 second. It's fucking ridiculous and I've been meaning to call HP and bitch, but every time I want to it's either too late or I think it's pointless.
I suck ass at long jump. I am on the track team because they accept everyone with a $40 check for playing sports at our school. I have only jumped at one meet because of circumstances outside my control, and the result, (5.13, 4.6-, 4.9-) were dissapointing to say the least considering that they set a new meet record of 6.52m. Needless to say I didn't make top 6, but I did slightly better than last year. The results haven't come back, but the meet was on tuesday and it's thursday and I'm still very sore in my jumping leg's calf, both ass muscles, and lower abs. I was so fucking tired today that I couldn't even go to track practice. I came home and slept for 3 hours.
Every day at track practice, guys are guys and throw little pebbles, trip me as a friendly guy joke and I just think it's a little pointless. I never knew how to respond because I always saw it as the dumbest way to play.
One day while I was runnng the longer run for track and field to build resistance, a car drove by and someone threw a mostly full water bottle at me. It hit me really hard and something else hit me that day. I was disgusted at the human race that we were capable to do that to eachother. Someone was laughing in that car at me. It's fucking disgusting that we will be cruel to eachother and laugh. A water bottle flying from a car driving at 50km/h hitting bone really fucking hurts. Apparently causing pain is funny.
School is going pretty shitty, I've handed so many late assignments that I don't even remember. It's all because I'm uninterested in it. What we learn is absolutely pointless for my career. Why does a doctor need to know about Lenz's law and Faraday's discovery, or make fucking study notes for every test in biology. Or get his english homework tested or forced to draw? Except for art, I am forced to take all these courses because they are prequisites for medicine. All these things are so demeaning. I get treated like the youngest little child. My english teacher is a fucking nitpicker. One of the hardest markers in our school who always has something to complain about your work. It is so depressing that nothing is good enough for her and that everything seems to have an "ineffective ending" She wrote that for several people's several projects. She is one of the biggest downers of my day

On the way to the bus today, even though I was half asleep, sleep deprived, and sore, I managed to see 6 couples, 4 of which were making out. Fucking lovely way to end the day, getting my perpetual singleness rubbed into my face. I also haven't had a girlfriend ever. I have made out, but the last time was a very long time ago, and I'm looking for something long-term. Girls seem to like older guys or popular guys, meaning that I'm fucking screwed, only figuratively. Finally, the girls I do like that are single, and are not completely wrong for me, I can't manage to get the courage to speak to them. I'm just amazed at their beauty and I get nervous and my mind goes more blank than ever. I can't think of anything to say. There is one in my art class and I have no idea how to approach her. None. If she did like me, I actually have no idea where to take girls for dates where my un-popularity or un-coolness can't show, but where there is time to talk and see if we are compatible. I also don't have any hope of finding a girl, because apparently, if I have standards in this world, I'm a monster. All I'm looking for is a girl with a head on her shoulders, one I can have conversations with and relate to, and one that I'm attracted to. Apparently this combination, along with singleness and the liking of me is non-existent in our society.

And the piecé de resistance: A girl I know told me she had just had sex with her older boyfriend in his car. That about sums up the attitudes of most girls. Most of the girls I've come in personal contact with are crazy about older guys and ignore mature guys their own age; they seem to fall in with heartless sex hounding immature guys older than them. Meaning it's hopeless. There's so much wrong with my life, I have no idea what I can fix. If someone could help and cheer me up, that would me much appreciated. If they could find or introduce me to a girl I'm both compatible with and attracted to.

Lastly, my attendence on DA has been dwindling, because nobody cares about me. Either that or they don't show it. ~ Splic is the only one who has actually responded and paid slightly more attention to me, and I've been trying to repay him, but yet again, I'm just more and more apathetic about DA. What is the point of being shown by comparison what a terrible artist I am? What is the point of giving DA art to make money with by selling it to third parties? What is the point of anything. I have no fucking lasting satisfaction in life. I'm in standby mode and I'm fucking tired of it. Yet I can't think of anything I can do to change it. I'm just not a brave person. I don't like alcohol or excesses, so I can't get piss drunk. That eliminates all the people in highschool who live for one excess or another. More than half. And I don't know anyone to do anything with. The proof is that I haven't done anything on weekends for so long.

My life consists of dissapointments at school, routines at home, loneliness at home, failures all round and too little sleep. I feel like I'm stretched to the limit and I don't know what will happen. Like Sam Roberts once said in a song, I have "no reason to die but no reason to care".

And again, I remembered another depressing thing in my life. Almost a year ago, if you check my jurnal entires, I was terribly heartbroken because the girl I liked for the past year and perhaps even L-worded turned out to be a heartless booze and sex hound whose life revolved around excesses. I still haven't gotten over her, she's still on my MSN, though she may have deleted me off hers. Whenever she logs on, I think back to what could have been and how wrong I was. It's been a year and I'm still not over her. I still think there may just be a chance she might realize that her lifestyle isn't sustainable and come to me, but that's just desperate wishful thinking.

On that note, I also remember the one time I felt truly wanted and whole. It was velntines day of gr.9. I was invited, along with a small group of people, perhaps 3 or 4 to a girl's house that I liked and got along fairly well. We were watching a movie, I don't remember what movie, but we were sitting next to eachother. She eventually sat on my lap and we started making out during the movie. That was the only time that a girl I was truly attracted to was also attracted to me. It felt so great, I was on top of the world and I hold on to that memory dearly, even though she may have had a boyfriend at the time. It just left so great knowing that even though she had a boyfriend, she liked me enough to cheat on him with me. It's a pretty happy memory, but sadly, at the end of that year, she actually moved to another country. That's it, the only girl that liked me when I liked her lives thousands of miles away and I have no contact with her. That's the story of my life lately, all dissapointments one after another. I'm such a nobody, it's not even laughable. I am the guy who does nothing but school and watches tv and yet I still have mediocreish marks. I have failed at everything I tried and I have no friends close enough that they really want to do anything social with me or help me out with the girl situation, or make me feel wanted. I feel like a reject that's been born on the wrong continent (Europe) 600-700 years too late. I'm pretty sure I would have integrated into the Native American society and way of life very well, but I can't seem to manage in today's society. It's a shitty deal. I feel screwed over and I guess I'll have to put up with this horrible deal I've been handed and all this bullshit for the rest of my life.

This weekend I was in St. Louis, Missouri. We went to a freind of the family that's a doctor and obviously, quite well off. He has a huge house, and helps out fellow Romanians who need a place to stay or are looking to get into medicine in the St. Louis area. He has a role in picking candidates for residencies after the interviews. He told me that conformity, even though technically wrong and morally disgusting, is a main criteria when selecting candidates. It really disgusted me, but I believe him, because he is involved in the process.

So that means I have to cut my. Short. It's almost to my shoulders and it doesn't look all that good, but I'm attached to it, I kinda liked being known as the "long haired guy". So for the first time in a while I had an identity. But hey, I figure the girls don't really like the long hair, or the not-good-ness of it all, so it should be a step forward, but there's another reason why I'm not too happy about cutting it. Most Natives in North America had long hair most of the time. It was out of respect for their lifestyle, and to show that they were living the way the Great Spirit meant for them to live. When they went to war they would cut it short, sometimes leaving a top knot or a mohawk, which is where the style apparently comes from. I try to live my life as least damaging to the environment as possible, recycling, not using up too much paper or water, what I can do while not living in a tree and using bark for toilet paper. That's why I believe that the longer hair suited me at least for a European. So in other words, I'm going to war. Studying my ass off in classes I hate, doing assignments that make me hate life, and trying to give up addictions that take time away from my homework. One of them is spending too much time on the computer procrastinating my Physics Biology or English homework till the next day 20 minutes before school. So goodbye. I'm going to war.